JOURNALLING

Before I was anyone’s mother, I was an environmental engineer. Logic, research, evidence, that was my language. So, when my husband and I decided I’d stay home until our boys started school, I didn’t sit still. I just couldn’t. I threw myself into running our local Polish mums’ group, the Polish playground, Saturday school. Yes,…

I was standing in my kitchen. Guests gathered in the garden. My son’s second birthday party in full swing around me. And I could not move. Not even one step. I didn’t know what to do first, or where to start. Me! the woman who always knew what to do first. From the outside, nothing…

Last night we gathered in the Women’s Circle to celebrate the Feast Day of Mary Magdalene. And my heart is still full. Overflowing, actually, with love and joy. I’ve trained as a Priestess of the Venusian Rose, with Isis, Mother Mary, Mary Magdalene, Inanna and more divine feminine as guides, but I am in constant…

There’s a change you’ve tried to make more than once. You know the one. You’ve started it on a Monday. Started it again in January. Told a friend about it, meant it, and watched it quietly dissolve by the second week. And every time it collapsed, you reached the same conclusion: I just don’t have the…

He passed away 2.5 years ago. I come from a family shaped by domestic violence, where alcohol addiction was almost a daily presence. And it came from him – my dad. Luckily, my mum divorced him when I was 13, and he moved towns, then countries. Soon after, we moved too. For a few years…

This morning I went for a walk with my friend Grace. We talked about body wisdom, about high-achieving women who choose to stay home as homemakers, and – as we often do – about gender equality. It got me thinking about something I’ve been sitting with for years. I never thought much about gender equality…

Let me tell you something I know about you. You’re capable. Driven. The person people rely on. When something lands on your plate, you don’t half-do it – you go all in, every time. You probably have a list of podcasts from high-performance coaches, a morning routine you’re either rigidly following or feeling guilty about…

The career is there. The home, the relationship, the achievements – all of it. And yet there’s a quiet restlessness you can’t quite name. A sense that you’re performing your life rather than living it. I know this feeling intimately. I lived it. Yes, I was the person who had everything under control. Organised. Capable.…

For a long time, I believed that if I just thought differently, planned better, stayed more positive, or became more disciplined, I would finally feel calm. I thought peace was something I had to mentally achieve. But what I eventually realised is this: You cannot think your way from stress and survival into calm and…