JOURNALLING

Let me tell you something I know about you. You’re capable. Driven. The person people rely on. When something lands on your plate, you don’t half-do it – you go all in, every time. You probably have a list of podcasts from high-performance coaches, a morning routine you’re either rigidly following or feeling guilty about…

The career is there. The home, the relationship, the achievements – all of it. And yet there’s a quiet restlessness you can’t quite name. A sense that you’re performing your life rather than living it. I know this feeling intimately. I lived it. Yes, I was the person who had everything under control. Organised. Capable.…

For a long time, I believed that if I just thought differently, planned better, stayed more positive, or became more disciplined, I would finally feel calm. I thought peace was something I had to mentally achieve. But what I eventually realised is this: You cannot think your way from stress and survival into calm and…

I want to be further than I am. Not in age – in my professional life. I’m 44 and I want more. More momentum, more earnings, more proof that this is all working. I feel behind. “Behind what?” my heart asked quietly. “Behind who?” “My own expectations,” said my mind. “Ah. Expectations,” my heart replied.…

There’s a question most of us never slow down long enough to answer. I used to be that person too. What matters to me – truly, to me, not to anyone else? Who am I? What do I value? What brings me joy? What makes me sad? What do I actually want my life to…

The last couple of days, anxiety has been creeping in. That feeling of running – rushing to be somewhere on time, to meet a deadline – except there’s nowhere to be and nothing due. Just this hum of urgency that doesn’t belong to anything real. I’ve been here before. I know what this is. I’m…

(MY story #3) At 32 weeks, I started bleeding and ended up in hospital for several days. It was the first time, as a mother, that I had been forced to stop. Physically, I was held in place. Mentally, I was anything but resting – my head was full of fears and anxiety, convinced that…

(MY story #2) Three sons under five. A foreign country. No family nearby. A husband constantly travelling for work. And me – a self-confessed control freak – self-diagnosis that came much later. That’s a perfect recipe for disaster. And that’s exactly what happened. My older sister has always been my role model. By that point…

(MY story #1) I remember this day vividly – especially that one moment. I’m standing in my old kitchen, staring at the to-do list for my son’s third birthday. The guests have arrived, children are running everywhere, the party is in full swing in the garden – and I’m standing in the kitchen, completely frozen.…